Talking2Mirrors


Silence is The best answer!
February 28, 2007, 12:08 am
Filed under: Compassion, Friendship, Life, Philosophy, Religion, Spirituality, love

damn, i feel like as if I have been in a car ride for 15 hours straight, but rather than being physically worn out I am Mentaly and Emotionaly worn out.  All the dances, from one to another, only to realize that I have already dance that dance before.  The problem is,I think, to borrow the analogy of Dr. Richard Alpert’s (aka Ram Dass) Guru, “you can come and visit Christ, but it is better to Be Christ.”  This is true for me.

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Like a Moth too close to the Light.
February 26, 2007, 6:52 am
Filed under: Compassion, Friendship, Life, Philosophy, Religion, Spirituality, love

I am like a moth getting to close to the light, only difference is that I am aware of what the light will do to my physical existent.  The more I find myself, the more I lose my reality.  Sane enough to know im crazy and crazy enough to know I dont want to be sane. I speak to you as I talk to myself, not in words but in thoughts, in a perfect mirror with no reflection.  I have been experiencing something weird, something different, something profound, something crazy, something out of this world, something i can not yet explain, something i try to communicate while at the same time i know it cannot be communicated. My faith is not rooted deep enough to follow the light, the ego is still there holding on to what lives.  I feel something inside i have never felt before, something i have been looking for for a long time now. I know i have not found the answer because i am still not clear. Doubt stills lingers in my mind, but at the same time peace and calmness settles in my heart. The closer i get to the answer i have been looking for, the farther i get away from reality. 

I have been stuck in a stage/phase for a long time now, and I believe I have found something or something has found me that might help me to grow spiritually.  My spirit feels connected deeply with this force but my ego still hold on strong to my reality.  I feel a feeling of truth that is undeniable and I want to fall in that ocean that is truth, but i am affraid because i do not know how to swim.  So i hold on to the land that i know to be true.  i have reached out to a couple of people and so far i have realized that this path is one that i have to walk, alone. …..

lets see how far I can swim…th_ab1e8e37.gif



Spoken not to be Heard.
February 25, 2007, 6:47 am
Filed under: Life

I speak to you in the language of love. My message is compassion. My intentions benevolence. You were the first person, to show me that another person can care for as much as himself or herself, out side of my family. You were so caring and selfless with the people you cared about. I admired and fell in love with that part of you. You made me want to become a better person, for myself and for the people that cared about me. You showed me love like no one has ever shown me before, you love me the way I wanted to be loved. I had a connection with you that I have with non other, and no other would understand. As we grew as a people and together as friends, we slowly saw our differences. Differences that eventually ended our crossroad. What separated us was not our differences, but rather our spiritual immaturity. We saw our differences as a road block, and are unable to see beyond. Beyond our differences is our where we both want to be.

Where did you go and why did you leave me behind? you were not just any friend of mine. You were my special one, one that knew me and loved me more than anyone. I gave you the very best of me, just as you gave me your best. I saw your beauty through all the thorns, accepted you for your good and bad…. for you who you are. All you ever saw in me is a talent….. wasted.

You slowly lost your respect for me, and from that, you lost my respect for you as a person. I still loved you, but do not respect your views. If anything, as I lost my respect for you, I love you more. I felt even more compasionate toward your being. I wanted to share with my gift. I wanted to share with you something that you thought I had wasted by not reaching my potential. I failed miserably. We faild miserably. What hurts me more than losing your friendship is to know that you do not see the beauty that is me. Of anyone, I would think you would be the first person to do so. I woundnt be so hurt if it was anybody, but it is you… My Best Friend, one who i care and love so truely and passionately. And to make even worst, you looked down on me for the way that I am. That is the reason I lost respect for you, you are blind and judge. You are chasing after wind, and eventually you will get tire from your search. One day you will come to see me, but by then it will be too late.

I love you so very much, I have given the best of me for free. I’ve tried when most would not. I dont know what else i couldnt have done.

I know I am losing someone and something so beautiful, but I cannot hold on to you because you do not respect and appreciate me.

I know what i am losing, which is why i am so hurt.

But I also know that I am something beautiful myself and is worth appreciating and repecting. You taught me that, you taught me to love myself and to know my self worth.

You are losing someone beautiful….

I will be content that I have tried and given you my best.

I wish you the best in your life…. you will always be in my heart, for it is an imprint that can never be erased.

I love you not with my heart,

But with my soul.

I will never understand why you chose to go away, and leave me behind.

I am a bird with broken wings, a heart with no beat, a vision with no colors, a person without you.



You are My only friend.
February 25, 2007, 5:55 am
Filed under: Compassion, Friendship, Life, Philosophy, Spirituality, love

You are my only friend, You are my best friend. Who knows me better than you, Who is always there when I needed a friend, You. You have always been there, to listen, to console, to give advice, to cheer up, to laugh with, to cry with, and ultimately to just be with.  Without you, i have no one, no one to listen, no one to talk to, no one to just be with.  You are with me every step of the way, never pushy also insightful. You always guided me with your words, but allowed me to be the driver.  I love you most but I also take you the granted the most. In times like these, all i have is you. Only you see me with your heart, only you see me for who i am.  Only you can see me, because you are the only person I cannot lie to, I cannot hide from. Moments like these, I am grateful i have you in my in my existence. No matter what I feel, right or wrong, without judgement, you sit right there, right next to me….. just being.

You tell me… that I am like a moth getting closer and closer to the light. It worries me deeply, it scares me intensely, i fear what might happen… But something inside, so beautiful, so powerful, so peaceful, so calm, so loving…. something inside tells me I am ok.  And no matter what, as long as I have you… the way that you are… No matter what i do, no matter what i go through… you will be next to me… just being… and something about that makes me feel like I am home.

I trip out because you have been with me all along, every step of the way.

I have looked for someone like you all my life.  Finding false hope in others, and eventually to be disappointed. I was never aware of your friendship until I started to write this post. You revealed yourself to me in these words  in this post. You are the noe writing the word, my only friend, and not I. You and I have always been one and the same. 

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Get Lost With Me
February 24, 2007, 4:04 am
Filed under: Life, Philosophy, Religion, Spirituality

      This blog title is borrowed from a friend of mine, the reason I chose “get lost with me” is because I see a pattern in my writings.  I can never stay on one subject. I start off with a subject title and weave through what seems to be irrelavent to what the focus was and end with something so far from the where i started. The reason for such kaos is this, My mind is not perfected, my neurons are not completely connected, and my impulses are not fully strengthen, I cannot see the essene in everything… and further more I cannot see the connnection between everything. My spiritual eye cannot see 360 degrees, hence my thoughts expressed in my writings is like a rock skipping across a pond. From one place to another, one subject to the next. Its appears to be different subject but its essense is all the same. It is like if i am lost, but i am not really lost. That is why I like, “get lost with me.” So do get lost with me… lets see where the rabbit hole goes.

      



Talking2Mirrors
February 20, 2007, 11:29 pm
Filed under: Compassion, Friendship, Life, Philosophy, Spirituality

       The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings
but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We
spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have
bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less
time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less
judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less
wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too
tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We
have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too
much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added
years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon
and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new
neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done
larger things, but not better things.
We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the
atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan
more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait.
We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more
copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and
small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are
the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken
homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway
morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do
everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is
much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time
when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you
can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.
Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they
are not  going to be around forever.

 Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in
awe,  because that little person soon will grow up and leave your
side.   Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you,
because that is  the only treasure you can give with your heart and it
doesn’t cost a cent.*    Remember, to say, “I love you” to your spouse
and your loved ones, but  most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes  from deep inside of you.
*    Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday
that  person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to
speak, and  give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths
we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
>George Carlin<

I had to start out my First Blog with a Bang, and there is not better man to Blow it up than George Carlin.  GC’s observation of our society and the way we interact with one another is the essence of my writings.  So many starting points that I do not know where to begin. Then again, if i believe that the beginning and end are one in the same then it does not matter where i start.

     Talking2Mirrors is the tittle of my blog because I intend to write as if I am talking to myself. Through Self-reflection, self-honesty, self-less and self-integrity I hope to begin my Self-Therapy.  I was told by a good friend to write and expressed my thoughts because I have a lot to say. I do have a lot to say, but to most, it says nothing. Further more, even if it is said, will anyone listen. It is thoughts like these that deter me from putting thoughts to paper. That is why i intend to write for me and only me, and because i see some good things might come out of this as a by product. Its hard for me to write because I only enjoy writing when i am inspired! It is funny because i can be inspired by anything at any given moment. But now is not one of them. So I will take a break and free my thoughts:… a few hours later…. after looking at others peoples blog, I realized that it does’tn matter what I write about as long as I write something. I just hate writing with no passion. So lets see if I can inspire myself.

    The Lonely Path. Yes indeed, I believe that this is the path that we are have to travel. I feel that Life is a journey to find oneself through people, things, and experiences. This could easily be misunderstood as a negative point of view. I however do not see it that way. The Lonely Path we walk is inevitable just as our death. No matter what or how we decide to entertain ourselves, the void that is in us is ever presence. 

    Its really hard to talk to mirrors. Its hard to talk to your soul. Its hard writing this blog, its hard to be honest with yourself. “We lie best when we lie to ourselves.” Most of us, have a problem dealing with our inner-selves. Some do not know how to deal with it at all, so we find ways to submerge it in our poison of choice. The writing above by George Carlin shed lights onto the kind of people we are becoming.  Behind all the luxuries, prosperity, technical advances, and conveniences, there still is this emptiness.  I believe this is the metaphoric line that divides the West and the East.  Individualism and Collectivism, Private Space and Public Space, Me and We, Want and Need . The Western world have been enjoying great prosperity, luxury, and conveniences. While most of the East have been struggling to adapt new way of life in order to keep up with the rest of the world. While the West enjoys its luxuries and its high quality of life, most of the East is struggling to attain and sustain the necessity to live.  However, the picture i have painted of the two worlds is not complete. As George Carlin pointed out, despite all of our advances, we are not improving our Quality of Life.  It is almost like we work so much harder for things we do not need, and in the process of working hard it has become our escape. We try to escape from our inner-self.  Let me make this more clearer. The void is always there, entertainments is a form of distraction, so we try to find new and better forms of entertainments to escape being with SELF. It seems like as we move forward materialistically, we are moving backward Spiritually. One would have to wonder how long can this last? Much of the East is going through the same thing as the West is now experiencing. However, most of the East is in its early stage also known as Developing Countries. I am not sure how the people of the East are handling the transition from Needs to Wants.

     Like everything else in this world, nothing is without its opposite. The thing that made this country great will also be the same thing that make this country fall, unless we as a collective society through our wisdom and our will power to redirect the future of our country and ultimately the world.

     Lack of self, try it once and you’ll never be the same. I have lost my sense of self, although not completely. But if i was to lost my sense of self completely,  I would be considered an insane person. Sane and Insane is a matter of opinion, better yet,it is  a matter of a collection of  opinion, say…. society. Sane is referring to the practical world, while Insane is anything not practical to survival.  This world we have created is one full of paradox’s, oxymoron’s, and hypocrisies. Nothing is ever as it seems, and everything is twisted. With that said, I never forget the beauty of the this world.  I come off as a negative person because of my views that I expressed, but that not because I do not see the beauty of things, but rather because I wish to change the ugliness that is infecting us all.

    You see, I have a gift. A beautiful gift. A gift that is enjoys great rewards but also endures a lot of pain. I was blessed with a childhood that was carefree, care for free and free to care.  I had no major obstacle to hinder my spiritual growth, and no traumatic experiences that might damage my psychological state of mind. I was blessed with love by the people who genuinely cared about me, although not often shown but expressed implicitly. I was given all the time in the world to grow, to grow at my own pace. I grew up in two worlds. The one I call it my homeland, and the one I call it home. My experiences in my homeland instilled traditional and family values in me, while my home educated me on the world and its ways, both seen and unseen. The combination of the two has made me very empathetic of people. All throughout my childhood up and up to now, I see no reason to have hate in your heart. Sure I get mad, and I lose my cool, but i never let hate reside in my heart. I love people, because I see myself in everyone and I see part of everyone in me. Its a foolish way to think living in this society, it has brought me many troubles and confusions. It has also set me back in ways no one would ever understand. It has also cost me love, friendships, and more importantly respect from the people I respect and love. I try to cope with what is lost with the awareness of what is gained.  I try to be a true to myself as well as a good person to others everyday in every action.  My greatest downfall is that I don’t care enough about myself. I need to take care of me before I can take care of anyone else. If i want to help people, then I must first help myself, or else I am no use to anyone. This is my greatest obstacle in life so far. It is something I spend a lot of time contemplating about, what is the reason behind me being this way?

There are two types of people in this world. One who walk the path but does not see the destination, and the other is one who see destination but cannot walk to the path. I guess there are three types if you include those that neither want to walk the path or see the destination.

I am one who sees the destination but have a hard time walking the path. It just has hit me, this is probably why I have a need for companionship. Someone to walk the with on the path.  Interesting…… to be continue…