Talking2Mirrors

I am like a moth getting to close to the light, only difference is that I am aware of what the light will do to my physical existent.  The more I find myself, the more I lose my reality.  Sane enough to know im crazy and crazy enough to know I dont want to be sane. I speak to you as I talk to myself, not in words but in thoughts, in a perfect mirror with no reflection.  I have been experiencing something weird, something different, something profound, something crazy, something out of this world, something i can not yet explain, something i try to communicate while at the same time i know it cannot be communicated. My faith is not rooted deep enough to follow the light, the ego is still there holding on to what lives.  I feel something inside i have never felt before, something i have been looking for for a long time now. I know i have not found the answer because i am still not clear. Doubt stills lingers in my mind, but at the same time peace and calmness settles in my heart. The closer i get to the answer i have been looking for, the farther i get away from reality. 

I have been stuck in a stage/phase for a long time now, and I believe I have found something or something has found me that might help me to grow spiritually.  My spirit feels connected deeply with this force but my ego still hold on strong to my reality.  I feel a feeling of truth that is undeniable and I want to fall in that ocean that is truth, but i am affraid because i do not know how to swim.  So i hold on to the land that i know to be true.  i have reached out to a couple of people and so far i have realized that this path is one that i have to walk, alone. …..

lets see how far I can swim…